Don't know how I find this shit...
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
This is a blog from a band called The Shiftys from Tampa on My Space...
The Conflict
Characters: Patrick Stump and Brian Brannon
Patrick Stump: A vigilante rock star who doesn't like to be disagreed with
Brian Brannon: An amazingly talented accordion/electric triangle player for the band The Fraction who doesn't like when people insult his hair
Conflict: Can't decide who has the sweetest Mohawk
One day after a long band practice, Patrick Stump skipped merrily to the barber shop. His mother had told him that if he got straight A's at Hebrew School, he could cut his hair into a mohawk. With a big smile, Pat walked in and said,
"Hello my good man! I would like you to cut my hair into the gnarliest mohawk ever!" The barber wanted to stab him in the face with his scissors (for Pat was hated by all of the true punks in Tampa - all five of them), but times were tough and he needed the money. So he sat Pat down and cut his hair into a positively insanely good looking mohawk. Pat was glowing as he walked out of the shop that is, until he saw Brian Brannon. Brian was one of the only true punk/skate rats alive; so as you can see, he hated Pat.
"How dare you copy that hairstyle?!" yelled Brian. "That is our hair style, you have no right to wear it!"
"Chill out broseph, I am the most popular southern California post-punk/nu-metal/old skool hardcore/ emotive hardcore singer in Tampa," said Pat, "Apologize right now or I will unleash my emo furociousness on you!"
"What are you going to do, cut your self? Hahaha!" Brian replied mockingly.
"Darn, how did he guess?" Pat thought to himself.
"Give it up," said Brian, "your music is the worst kind of music there is; with all your cutting and crying and dressing like girls! Stop whinning about how my life is a black hole, spiraling downward into the abyss that is my life, tightening its hold on me; tighter than a pair of my little sisters jeans...which look great on me by the way."
"Oh yeah?" Pat said trying his hardest not to cry, "well...your mohawk looks stupid!" Brian stood in disbelief that any one would insult a truly punkish mohawk. Then, he said what every emo kid feared to hear said about them.
"You're a productive member of society with a bright and sunny disposition on life!" Pat could take no more of this blashphemy and started to run toward Brian; head down and mohawk ready to stab. Brian, however, knew the barber that did Pat's hair would use the non-holding gel just for this kind of situation. He lowered his head to block Pat's attack, but Pat's hair was stronger than he had anticipated. As the two mohawks collided, a very lound craching sound reverberated throughout the town. Pat and Brian fell down in pain. As they got up, they could feel that there mohawks were cracked and could no longer be used as weapons. Pat reached into his pocket to get his razor blade he used for...um...emergency shaving? Right. But as Pat looked up he could see that Brian had his skateboard ready to do battle as well.
The Two boys clashed for what seemed like an eternity when finally, a mysterious figure jumped from the shadows and got between the boys. Brian and Pat recognized him at once. It was Jello Biafra, lead singer of the Dead Kennedys!
"Why this quarling young chaps?" asked Jello.
"He insulted my mohawk!" said the two boys at the same time.
"I have advice for both of you if thou art willing to listen," said Jello. The two boys sat down and listened wide eyed and smiling.
"Brian, you don't need to be so punk all of the time. For, punk rock tis not about being punk, tis about standing up for what's right, even when the whole world seems to be against you!"
"Of course," said Brian, "I was so caught up in being more punk than Pat, that I forgot what punk was really about. Thanks Mr. Biafra!"
"Any Time!" said Jello, "Now Pat; you are a retard. Emo music is for girls and guys who act like girls, and you seem to be both. So please, Pat, come be a punk with me and Brian, and all your wildest dreams will come true."
"You really mean it? Honest and Truely?" said Pat with a radient smile.
"Of course," said Jello, "It's never to late to change your ways."
So the two boys and Biafra danced and sang all the way to the barber shop where they all got skinhead haircuts. Man, did they look cool! After that, Brian invited Jello and Pat to a concert his band and him were having at the S.P.O.T. The show was superb! After The Fraction played, Ashton Kutcher's Army, Minor Treat, Black Fag, Youth of Togay, Gorilla Triscuits, Circle Perps, and The Shiftys serenaded everyone with beautiful music that would shake the ages. Everyone danced and sang merilly and ate until their hearts were content! Unfortunately, Brian mistook his plastic electric trialngle for a real one. He happened to be standing in a puddle that ran all the way to the crowd below. The electricity surged to them and everyone died.
posted by Brannon @ 2:13 PM,
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History Lesson #452
Friday, September 14, 2007
Back in 1984 when punk was already becoming trendy, Duane Peters, Steve Alba and Micke Alba sought to remove themselves from the mindless herd by immersing themselves in the New Romantic and Rockabilly styles. Luckily, they eventually came to their senses and went back to punkin’ out with a blatant disregard for those trendy ass fuckers who always latch onto whatever they think is cool, but that didn’t stop DP and the Albas from shredding Upland as seen on this episode of Eye on LA.
posted by Brannon @ 3:46 PM,
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Heavy Trailer
I’m not really into video games (except for maybe Yahoo Chess). I just never have enough time as it is so it’s probably best that I don’t get sucked into spending countless hours glued to a screen. Especially skate games, let’s see, play with a dumb game or go out and roll... Hmmm. Be that as it may, I came across the trailer for the new EA Skate game that’s coming out, and this is killer. Takes forever to download but definitely worth watching. We’re talking some of the heaviest hitters in skateboarding here…
posted by Brannon @ 3:44 PM,
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My Bro Chris Hamrock Rips
He skates like an ol’ AZ bro. Speaking of which, has anybody heard from Doug Perry lately? Talk about a ripper? Haven’t seen that bro in a long while. Somebody let me know if you’ve seen him. Tell him I said hey. And remember the AZ Pool Rule: You have to grind every pool on your first rule. That was how it was back when I lived up in there and I hope y’all are keeping it alive...
Check this footie of Hamrock from a recent trip up Highway 99, Highway 99…
posted by Brannon @ 3:37 PM,
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These are the Good Ol' Days
As my memory gets hazy and the details of the treasured years of yore slip away, I still remember the fun and friends I had back then, as well as all the places we skated that were dear and now departed: High Roller Skatepark in Phoenix, Dead Cat, The Air Bowl, Hohokam Ditch, the Hisco banks... Then there were places for gigs like the Mad Gardens, Salty Dog and The Church. And of course the friends who are sadly no longer with us, Little Shane, Nya, Charlie Grocher... They are all sadly missed and yet I remember the good times I had with them all. And yet I do not wallow in sorrow because we never did that then and there's no reason to do that now. There are all kinds of places to skate, from backyard bowls built for skating, to a veritable paradise of public skateparks, and of course there are still plenty of legitimate empty swimming holes to be had. And then there's gigs like this one coming up on Saturday, September 1st. Not only is it a gig at a park (Etnies skatepark in Lake Forest, Calif.) to be exact, but some killer bands from the old days like McRad and Love Canal are playing with JFA and a new hard chargin' skaterock band that's carrying on, Frontside Five. All I can say is that I know it will be a rippin' show combining three of my favorite things: friends, skating and music. And the park is pretty damn good too. Despite what some people who want to stay stuck in the past might say, these are the good ol' days.
posted by Brannon @ 7:27 AM,
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Hanging with SEALs and Racing Yachts
Friday, August 10, 2007
Had a pretty good drill weekend with the Navy Reserve this month, got to hang out with Navy SEALS and check out their obstacle course and man the helm of a racing yacht with a crew of yachtsmen and submariners in the annual San Diego Yacht Club Submariner's Regatta.
Of course, I was officially working at both of the events, tutoring junior Sailors on how to take a good photo and write a good story, but I always try to have some fun as well, dontcha know..
posted by Brannon @ 6:50 AM,
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JFA on FUEL Tuesday July 17
Monday, July 16, 2007
“Tune In”
Brian Brannon & JFA Featured On “The Daily Habit”
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Airing Tuesday, July 17, at 9:00 pm Eastern Time (6:00 pm Pacific Time) and telecast three additional times, legendary pool and pipe skater Brian Brannon is on the show. He’s also the founding member of influential skate punk band JFA, and his JFA band mates join him to perform live in the studio.
Plus in a Daily Habit first, Brian invited special guests Wee Man and Heavy Metal Chuck from Independent Trucks to skate during the musical performances.
And, Joe Sib finds out if punk is still alive at the documentary premiere of “Punk’s Not Dead.” Brian’s sponsors include: JSLV, eS Footwear, JFA Skateboards, Factory 13, Burley Wheels and Fury Trucks.
posted by Brannon @ 11:01 AM,
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